Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Story of Sage - Part III

Here are a few journal entries I wrote when Sage was just over a month old. Everything was new. Everyday Sage experienced something for the first time, and I did as well. I have to remember that I still have the option to approach life that way - with my eyes open, with my heart open.
August 5 - Sage's first stroller ride through the park. The sweet perfume of a giant white lily warmed by the sun. As we walk by, a row of ducks splashes into the water, one-by-one.

August 6 - This morning, I laid Sage on a blanket and showed him a sunflower. He stared at it and made excited squeally sounds. This is the first time I've really heard his voice.

August 7 - Sage and I took a bath together this morning. He didn't cry, but he did cling to me like a little monkey, and he nursed the whole time.

August 8 - Last night, watching Michael's playfulness with Sage, has reminded me to be silly more, to make funny faces and make up songs, to really let myself enjoy these fleeting moments of Sage's babyhood.

August 9 - Met with supervisors at work to discuss my return. I have the option of part or full time. I feel the weight of the decision. Can we afford it if I take part time? Could I even handle full time right now? I know what is best for Sage, and I am relieved when Michael agrees.

August 10 - Long walk with Sarah, both of us pushing our babies in strollers. We talk about to what extent our thoughts / beliefs create our reality. We stop at a park to rest in the shade of a small tree. Oceana runs up a hill, dances, and runs back down bearing flowers.

August 11 - Walked the labyrinth at Tamarack while nursing Sage, warmed by the sun, peaceful. Later, in the library courtyard, I nursed him while sitting on a beautiful stone bench decorated with mosaic flowers and birds. Nursing has become a sweet pleasure, a meditation, so different from the early days when it was awkward and painful.

August 21 - Sage weighs 11 pounds, 12 ounces. I love taking him to baby clinic, talking to other moms, and seeing their babies. It is a weekly touchstone for me.

August 22 - Sometimes Sage smiles and laughs in his sleep. I wonder what he dreams of. He is so amazingly beautiful.

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