Friday, August 22, 2008
Every morning since we arrived, I have taken a walk on the beach. The water washes over my feet, and the sand slips away beneath them. The light morning sun warms me without burning.
The first day I did this, I reached the end of our section of beach and I sat down on the sand and stared at the ocean. There were several small sticks lying around, so I picked one up and started drawing designs on the sand.
The design turned into Sage's name. I wrote underneath it, "I love you, my son." And this is how I started writing love letters to my little boy. Every morning my note is gone, washed smooth by the sea, so every morning I write it again.
I think I will always be writing love notes to Sage. And they will always be washed away.
I don't know why, but it helps me somehow to repeat this little ritual. I open my heart to love and then I accept loss - over and over.
What choice do any of us have but to make our lives a beautiful love letter?