Monday, November 24, 2008

Love will Endure

If I can let you go as trees let go
Their leaves, so casually, one by one;
If I can come to know what they do know,
That fall is the release, the consummation...
If I can take the dark with open eyes
And call it seasonal, not harsh or strange
(For love itself may need a time of sleep),
And, treelike, stand unmoved before the change,
Lose what I lose to keep what I can keep,
The strong root still alive under the snow,
Love will endure - if I can let you go.

--May Sarton

Things keep shifting, yes? I want to write about the epiphany I had a few weeks ago when I finally found I could put the co-sleeper and the Jumperoo in the closet, and how happy I was to find that my connection with Sage is not about these things.

I want to write about the kindness of friends who have looked tenderly at Sage's photo album or gently touched the memory quilt, or who sat with me while I cried... or cried with me.

I want to write about gratitude, but in this moment all I can think is . . . LOOK at him! Look at how he stuck out his tongue, and how his hand rested so casually on mine. Look at how much I loved being his mama!

Thanksgiving is the 8-month anniversary of the accident.

I hold on AND I let go . . .
and love endures.

6 comments:

caitsmom said...

Beautiful. Joy and sorrow live together, I think. and yes, as you say "love endures."

janis said...

Oh Jessie... that is a gorgeous picture. Especially this morning, it is heartachingly beautiful to me...

I will be thinking of you and Sage and your father on Thanksgiving. I will be thinking of you mightily, Jessie, what a mighty mama you are. ((hugs)) xoxo

Laura said...

*tears* - Look at him is right, Jessie. You will be in my thoughts and heart on Thanksgiving.

Anonymous said...

Jess,
We love you! Thank you so much. And not only LOOK at him, but look at you! The love flowing both ways is palpable in that photo. You are truly an inspiration. This Thanksgiving we will be thankful for your friendship and guidance, and we will weep with you. Keep in touch!

George and Susan

Serinekat said...

Sage is beautiful. I will never forget him and I will never forget the looks on your face and Michael's when you were all together. Dang, that little guy is soooo cute I could eat him. I love you all and will be thinking of you all this Thanksgiving.

SerineKat

Anonymous said...

I just want you to know that you are on my mind daily during these holidays, and your strength and wisdom of your words still gives me hope in so many ways. Thank you for being you, Noel